I worry, sometimes, that my love for her will expand beyond the limitations of my body, that it will one day kill me with its heft. Tentatively, I lift a hand to her head, drawing it slowly down her hair. The proceeding silence is brief but torturous, and when Ella wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me close even in the midst of all this, I hear Winston clear his throat. I feel a vague mortification at that, at the realization that I’ve somehow exposed myself. She seems to sense the change in me for a moment, they all do. This feeling sharpens to a point, piercing me. I experience a strange pain then, a sensation not unlike dissolving slowly from the inside. Why don’t you care? Why don’t you think he has feelings? What the hell is wrong with you?” Why? He’s a real, flesh-and-blood person. You all insult him over and over again and he just takes it-he doesn’t even say anything-and somehow you’ve convinced yourselves it’s okay. I don’t know why you guys think it’s okay to just say whatever terrible things you want about him-to his face- as if he’s made of stone. We’re an hour behind on everything now, all becau-” “And what the hell are you smiling about? You’ve messed up our entire schedule, dickhead. Kenji catches sight of my face and cuts himself off. “Redhead? Tall? Runs the school group? You’ve talked to her-” Her faint, almost undetectable note of jealousy- possessiveness-only cements my smile in place. The dog is wearing a stupid bow on his head right now.”Įlla has stiffened beside me. She really wanted it to be a surprise for Warner and made us promise not to say anything about it. “Wait, what dog?” Ella looks at me, then at the others.

“The dog is the surprise? How is it a surprise if I already know it exists?” “You made Winston wait an entire hour just to give you the damn dog?” “As if we didn’t have enough going on today.” He turns to me. “Fucking hell,” Kenji mutters angrily, pushing his hands through his hair. “This is exactly what I’ve been trying to say- This son of a bitch made me wait outside the MT for an hour, even though I was perfectly nice to him, despite my better judgment-” “Wait-I thought we sent you to go get him an hour ago?” “The surprise?” Kenji is confused only a moment before understanding alights in his eyes.

Believe me tahereh mafi